This is where we begin the deep work. Looking at all the shadowy aspects that you may have thrown under the rug.
If you have never heard of the term, your shadow is anything and everything you have felt
Pain- to make suffer or cause distress to
Shame- a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety
Guilt- feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy
To clarify, suppose you were sitting near a lake, as you sit down peering into the water, you see a reflection of yourself. A distorted version, one that looks like you but moves in a way that you weren’t aware of. In this distorted version, all you can see is everything you fear or dislike about yourself. Observing its traits. Maybe it’s complacency, fear, ugly, fat, obnoxious, know it all, all encompassed in this distorted image.
On the surface, we may seem fine, great even, Yet, when we look through a new lens, we see this pain and shame that is controlling our reality and how we perceive it. Shadow is something we should not be afraid of, it is merely an opportunity showing you where you need to grow in confidence and self-worth.
For many of us, it stems from childhood and/or generational or ancestral traumas. When these insecurities or traumas are triggered, it brings you back to when you are that young child and you are reacting from that place of pain. These reactions can later be found when you are being overly defensive, judgemental or critical of others or yourself, feel anxious, negative self talk, etc...
The process in doing this can be a bit complex, once you remove one layer, you will see a whole new slew of other aspects that need to be looked at. I believe that you will likely be uncovering stuff your whole life, so you can repair instead of repeat old patterns.
MORNING EXERCISE: For today, I want you to take note of everything that triggers you either in a notepad or on your phone. Anything that does this is simply mirroring to you where it is that you can grow. It is an opportunity to expand. Maybe it is the way someone looks at you, a person, a family member, or anytime you feel sadness, comparison, anger, scarcity, etc. Write it all down. If you are struggling to find anything, write about anything that has made you feel this way this past week.
EVENING EXERCISE: I want you to look over everything you have written down. Now, looking at each trigger, I want you to go through EACH one and ask WHY? At least go through one today. This exercise will help you gain clarity on why this trigger is occurring for you. Allow any emotions to fully come up and be released.
Why was this emotion being brought up?
Where in my body does this emotion live? (If you are thinking, what? Do a quick body scan from head to toe then think of the trigger. Pin-Point where that emotion lives in your body) It may be in your hips, neck, wrists, shoulders, calves. What does it feel like (knots, tension)?
What needs do you feel like you are lacking or not receiving in this situation? (Communication, Safety, Seen, Heard, Recognized, Security, Honesty, etc.)
WHY am I staying small?
Is this a pattern? When was the first time I felt _____ ?
What did you need from that situation? Journal what you needed during that situation. Is it being comforted, taken out of the situation?
By asking these questions we are recognizing our own limiting patterns and beliefs. The simple act of self-awareness can begin to show you where you are not fulling stepping into yourself.
Allow any emotions to come up and be released.