Updated: Aug 29, 2019
I’m sure you’ve heard the old anecdote that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. My dad used to say this to me all the time growing up and frankly it made we want to roll my eyes.
I lived my life with my eyes rolled backwards, a smug look on my face, and a whole lot of anger in my heart. It was #sofrickenmiserable.
It wasn't until I started my own spiritual path that I completely transformed the way I thought all the time. Ever wonder if you could choose how to frame your mind in general? Guess what? You totally can. Here are five suggestions for how to change your mindset and make it permanent and natural in your daily life.
When I first began my spiritual journey while trying to heal myself of depression and anxiety, I learned about the think positive mindset. Like most peeps, the think positive and OMG everything you want will fall into your lap model is one of the first things you read, hear, or see in the wellness & spiritual world.
I’m sure we’ve all seen the:
Just be Positive
If you are negative, everything in your world and what you manifest is a reflection of that.
I fell hard into this belief. It was an anchor to ground me and a good beginner model to start with, but as I went along I noticed some major issues around it.
For one, just simply being happy is not easy if your mind is running around laps in a sea of blue. I went through dark times and choosing to be happy seemed impossible.
Being happy can be a choice, but how you do that is critical. You have the choice if you want this to be your reality anymore. There are tools that you have to implement to get to that place. Doing this takes work and dedication to get to a place of contentment and true healing. To quiet the voice within.
Second, when you are being told to just be positive, it is completely ignoring what is really occurring on inside from past traumas, pain, shame, & the like. Honestly, I don’t think anyone wants to be told to “Think Positive”. I have heard it from many others during that time of my life, and each time I rolled my eyes.
Having a sense of optimism is beautiful, but doing it to the point where you blame yourself for not being positive enough is simply destructive #sorrynotsorry.
Lastly and most importantly, the world reflects to us what we think and believe about ourselves, it does not stem from negative thought. I wholeheartedly believe that everything that triggers us, makes us feel small are areas for us to grow, receive, and nurture. When we begin to raise our awareness, we raise our self-worth. We see the world differently. The way you process your emotions, others’ interactions shift into a place where it is much easier to see the situation, memory for what it is. Ultimately shifting our mindset and perspective.
So if you are ready to do a deep dive and truly shift your mindset, grab your notepad because you will want to be writing down these 5 tips.
Gratitude has been such a powerful gift that I try to practice regularly. There was a point where I could not have listed off one thing to be grateful for. I hated myself, my reality, everything. When I first implemented this into my life, I would list off at least 10 things I was grateful for the day before bed. It varied from my bed, socks, water, a place to live. This tool demonstrates what you do have, even if it feels like you have and are nothing.
2. Observe Thoughts
The book, “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle was one of the most insightful pieces of literature that I have ever read. If you haven’t read it, it basically is about surrendering to the present moment.
From this, I began to notice and observe the insistent and constant that lived in my mind rather than be a part of them in an endless stream of thought. Now, you might be saying, “Girl, how the f*** do I do this?” Well, it will not be easy at first. I’m gonna tell it to you straight. It is extremely difficult to do at first. I mean this voice or ego has been living inside talking away for years and years. That’s why I’ve created this hack if you will to help become the observer rather than the participant.
HACK #1: For the next few days, notice what you are doing. If you are doing the dishes, notice the water on your skin, the bubbles, the way it feels to hold a dish. If any thoughts arise during this time, thank them. Another example is transportation. Whether you take the bus, drive or carpool. Do the same thing. Try this during the day.
Another option is to practice 5-10 minutes of meditation every day.
3. What is this teaching me?
Instead of saying, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask, “What is this teaching me?” A great example of this was when I was speeding. Ironically, I got pulled over and instead of freaking out. I asked myself what is this telling me? It was telling me I needed to slow down, not only on the roads but in my life. I was moving so fast forgetting to enjoy life. So when something arises ask yourself these questions. How is it here for you to grow and expand
4. Meet your Shadow
This is the most important one of all and it also took me the longest to do. This is meeting with everything you have ever felt guilt, shame, pain around. Looking at these aspects, not as something to be afraid of or to be judgemental of. Even if you feel that way, it is 100% okay.
Want to get ahead and learn how to do it? Luckily for you, you can sign up here to receive my free guide "Let It Heal: Shadow Work" so you can look at those limiting beliefs head on and say peace out for good!
5. Mantra & Creation.
For me, creativity has always been a major role in my life. From writing to painting, and food, I found great solace. I implore you to find a mantra that resonates. For a long time mine was, “I create my own life,”. I would say this every day as I woke up, but I think the most impactful (and fun) thing to do was to create this through art. I wrote this mantra on a piece of paper, painted away, and hung my mini masterpiece on the wall so I could see it every day as a reminder. Creation is very fulfilling, so get out there and do it. It doesn’t need to be perfect, nothing is.
HACK #2: Get creative with your mantras and let that creative energy move through whatever modality you like.
These 5 habits have radically changed my mindset for the better, and thank god because this girl was one hot mess before. Just saying...
I am more at peace and have been able to heal many parts of me that were in pain for a long time. My own positivity and awareness naturally grew from adding these habits into my life and continue to.
Now, let’s chat in the comments: What are some of your daily habits you do to live a better life?