This is for people who are feeling lost in life. For those who are feeling like everything they try is an upwinding battle, with small wins, if any.
For those who have no idea where they are heading, but continue anyway. For those who have tried everything, but nothing is working.
For those who look to blog posts, relationships, 30+ BuzzFeed quizzes, human design, astrology.
Hoping to find answers or something that will direct you to the right path. That a shiny light will come down from the sky and tell you where you are supposed to go, who you are supposed to be.
I have been in a few ruts over the years and it can be tough.
Ruts can bring on feelings of:
Among others, leaving you feel unclear about where you are heading and where you want to go. It is easy to numb, to submerge yourself in bad habits. Trust me when I say I have been there and done that. It's not fun and it can lead you into a downward spiral of shame & pain.
So if you are feeling lost in life or are in a rut here are 4 actionable items you can take and ask yourself to get you feeling motivated again.
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1. The Teacher
This rut is here as a teacher. It is showing you where you are not living in alignment. Not being your fullest most authentic self. Where you are needing to #growandglow.
But when you are stuck in it. It can feel like a dark hole. It can be overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.
Pull out a piece of paper and get ready to journal because this question is pretty much essential to bringing more awareness to your situation and beginning the healing process.
"What lessons is this rut here to teach me?
Is it a rut with your career? Is it with relationships? What is this showing you that you need to step more into your worth?
Analyzing this or simply just having the awareness gives you the power to shift feeling stuck, feeling hopeless and reframing what all of this is about.
2. Top Values
Core values help us determine what is most important to us and can act as a guide to see if we are on the right path and fulfilling our goals.
Values can be anything from Freedom, Connection with others, Helping others, Happiness, Rest, Security, Fulfillment, Fun, to Spirituality.
Don't get it confused with goals that are tangible like being debt-free, getting married, buying a car.
Then ask yourself, why are these important to me? Continue asking this until you run out of reasons.
Once you narrow down what your values are and why they are important, you can refer back to these elements as a helpful guide. So, if you are being presented with an opportunity or a test, you can refer back to these elements, by asking does this fit in with my top values? Am I wanting or needing this from a place of lack?
Look where you are numbing or self-soothing. Numbing is a deliberate effort to calm yourself down. To ignore what is happening around you. It is a safety blanket.
Numbing can look like:
Endlessly Scrolling on Social Media
It can be easy to fall into these bad habits and patterns because they are familiar or we saw our caretakers model these behaviors for us when we were kids.
You know the saying riddled in country music and frankly everywhere, "Drink the pain away"
It's not healthy or productive. It is easy to fall back on these habits because they have given relief at some point in time. It can make things feel better rather than facing it head-on.
So look at what ways are you numbing. Try to alter that behavior with something else like say if TV is your numbing of choice swaping it out for a different activity can be beneficial.
Most importantly, forgive yourself. You will likely fall back into old patterns and habits. That is okay. You can learn from them, get help, and create new pathways.
It didn't take one day for you to learn all of those behaviors, it likely will not take one day or one blog post to get rid of them.
So, be kind to yourself.
4. Let Go In Life
It takes courage to leave what is no longer serving you. But you feel as though there are blocks hindering you from making that move. Creating that step forward. So you wait for the right time, the right place, the right person. Hoping that one day it will all come into perfect alignment. But life doesn't work like that. It moves in its ebbs and flows. There is never a right time. I know how cliche it sounds, but it is true. There is never the right time to do something. There will always be your roadblocks, fears, that come up trying to stop you from achieving what it is that you want. Your deepest desires. You deepest wishes. If you are ready to step out and into the world as your own authentic self you have to let go. Make waves so what you want can come to you. Things may be falling apart You may be feeling stuck You may have an energetic itch to switch it up. It is so you can move to your next level, so you are able to show up and go after what it is that you desire.
It's time to clear out for the new. To create space.
This can mean clearing out your closet to getting rid of people you no longer care about or resonate with on social media. Ending a relationship you are no longer satisfied with, switching careers, etc...
When you keep these people or things in your life that no longer align with you are or that you have outgrown, then you are just holding space.
Removing them allows for new things to come through. Whether that be items, people, or some new inspo that ignites your inner fire.
Holding on to them is going to keep you in the same place you are now.
Ultimately, there is no curtain. There is no shining moment when you go, "AHA I HAVE FOUND IT!" I wish it was easy as that, but rather it is a culmination of moments.
Of showing up for yourself in the great and hard moments.
It is forgiving yourself.
It is being alone in the stillness of yourself.
That is where the magic lies.
That is where you discover the magic that lives within that you have been too scared to uncover.
Lost is just a new way for you to find yourself. A redirection to where you are going.
As you gain more clarity, it can also feel like you are more confused than ever with a list of questions and stress. Building and building to you are left hopeless.
But in this search, this quest to find ourselves, what if was just to come back to who we have always been?
A place for you to heal, to create, and RECONNECT with yourself on a much deeper level.