How to stop giving a FORK of what others think of you. ⠀ ... Looks like I have been watching too much of "The Good Place"
What I meant to say was, here's how to stop giving a fuck about what people think of you. ⠀ Have you noticed that we can care wayyyy to much on how other people perceive us?
We care how we look to others if this job will make us seem smart, educated, liked. We care about why that random person in line at the grocery store gave us that dirty look. Why it is raining outside. ⠀ ⠀ We care so so much that it infiltrates our day, our self-esteem, and our self-worth. ⠀ ⠀ You know when people say they don't care about something, but then continue to talk about that for the rest of the day⠀ ⠀ ... YEP that is what I am talking about here. Sometimes, we care too much.⠀ ⠀ I mean it is easy to do.⠀ ⠀ We are programmed to wonder how we will fit in. How we will be seen. How we will be liked from the time we are kids.⠀ ⠀ You may be asking yourself, "So, like how do I not give a fuck?" Well...⠀
I'm telling you my specific strategies to get rid of seeking outsiders approval, so you can create the life that you want to live.
This blog post is packed with information pulled from my real-life experience and shares:
What are your core values?
How to find the root cause of you're seeking others approval, so you can get rid of it for good.
What to do if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed because of it.
So if you are ready to stop caring about what other people think of you, here are some tips & ideas:
1. Define Your Core Values
⠀ What is the most important thing to you? Is it freedom, purpose, rest? When you figure out what your core values are, they can help you let go or go after the things that you want most out of life.
Once you get clear on what those values are they can act as a guide for where to go next.
When I got clear on my principles, I was finally able to see what really matters to me and not to everyone else. For instance, for me, freedom is a huge core value.
To me, it means independence, security, & purpose. It acts as a navigational tool to help me de-code what I want to bring more of into my life and what I can avoid or say "Nah, not today" to.
Living by those core principals can help you stay true to who you are.
2. Analyze Those Triggers
If you've been following me for a while, you already know what I am going to say 😂
When we are triggered aka meaning we may feel:
Comparisonitis kicks it
Tells us where to look to see where we can grow and expand in our own life.
Getting to the root of why you don't feel deserving or worthy.⠀ ⠀ Sorry, no spiritual bypassing or think positive here. ⠀
If someone is making you feel insecure, looking at the why of that is, in my opinion, the best way to grow and step into your worth.
Psst…want my “Top Self-Worth Building Tool”? It’s a free download you can get by clicking the button below. 🙂 It’s a great asset to print out and keep handy whenever you are feeling triggered, uneasy, or need a boost of confidence.
3. Focus on What You Care About
If you are focusing on all those things that don't really matter, you are missing out on focusing on what truly matters to you. What is it that you want to achieve?⠀ ⠀ If you structure your life around the expectations and preferences of others, you are in for a self-made hurricane of disappointment.
Rather than going after what you want, you are likely hustling for worthiness. ⠀ ⠀ It will hurt your self-esteem in the long run and you'll likely be seeking approval from others rather than your badass self.⠀
4. Cut the Fat
It's time to cut the fat. Also meaning, remove what is no longer serving you.
If it is a friend or a coworker who is making you feel small or insecure on the reg and you are getting sick of it.
Cut them out.
If you are going to countless activities that are draining you rather than giving you energy.
Cut them out.
Get the point? When you are doing things that aren't lighting you up, not setting boundaries, or being a doormat, you are setting yourself up for pain & hurt. Making it more difficult to live the life that you want to create or manifest.
5. It's Not You, It's Me.
The reason that person said that hurtful thing to you, wasn't really about you, but rather their own projection of their insecurity, hurt, shame, or guilt.
Trust me, it's difficult at the time to see that "Oh, they aren't talking about me, but rather are projecting their own fears"
Nope. At the time you are likely to go "What a beep"
Ready for the good news about all of this? Those people that you are worried about how they perceive you are mirrors. They are there to show you where you are still feeling small and where you can grow.
Everyone is dealing with their own problems, their own self-esteem, & their own self-worth.
The only thing that they are doing for you is a favor... Even if it means you getting a lil triggered every now and then.
Are you thinking, Liz, this is easier said than done?
Possibly, but that doesn't mean it is impossible. It requires a consistent practice of owning who you are and stepping into your worth. Once you put those tips to use on the regular, I can guarantee you overtime, you will stop caring about what other people think and live the life you want.
So.... LET'S CHAT! Tell me honestly, are you currently trying to please others in your life?