Updated: Sep 19, 2019
Can we get honest for a moment about self-care?
I am sure we have all seen the self-care threads on Instagram telling us to put this on our face, get rid of cellulite, tell us to be grateful, and love yourself.
It seems to be a continuous loop of the same thing being said over and over again.
What if I were to tell you that self-care isn't all face masks, drinking water, and being grateful?
That it isn’t just about healing aspects of yourself that you felt shame, pain, and guilt around, but rather that it is coming into a balance of both the internal and external.
So what does that exactly mean? Well, I will give you a perfect example of exactly how I navigated through the self-care world and tips that were thrown at me (and likely you) from the wee age of 10 in magazines and media.
From my preteens to around 18, I was solely focused on the EXTERNAL definition of self-care. Meaning, I loved treating myself to clothes, face masks, and makeup. However, I was doing it from a place of dis-ease.
Dis-ease in myself because I was trying desperately to fit into a mold that was not made for a one size fits all. I spent my time slowly accumulating internal strife that would eventually catch up with me and the lifestyle and had been living.
The clothes I bought, the make up I wore, the countless face masks that I applied were not me. They were a product of a society that told girls who and what would make them beautiful, confident, ready to take on the world.
Yet, it did the opposite.
Which ultimately forced me to only look at the INTERNAL, negating or not really caring about the exterior. When I was around 18 years old, I fell into a dark hole named depression, coupled with its BFF anxiety.
I reached a point where I could no longer continue going on this way and began to focus heavily on shadow work, yoga, meditation, & spiritual concepts to get myself out of such a negative space. This era of my life lasted upwards of 3 years, but it was SO necessary into my growth and how I interact and show up with myself and the world. ⠀
As you can see, I've been on both sides of the spectrum, but I've learned that you need to find balance.
Balance in caring for the exterior.
Balance in caring for the interior. ⠀
Honoring the ebbs and flows of your emotions and life. Looking at what is triggering you & healing it so you can evolve. Dressing authentically, at-home spa days, & taking care of the external in whatever way you see fit.⠀
How you feel on the inside is representative of how you look on the outside. Just as how you look on the outside is a representation of how you feel on the inside.⠀
Yet I often only see people doing one of the two or none at all. Leaving great room for expansion and growth.
That’s why I wanted to share some Self-Care Tips that ACTUALLY make a difference:
1. Daily Triggers.
What? You may be asking.
Look at everything that is triggering you during your day. From anger, sadness, comparison, shame, etc. See how it is feeling inside your body. What emotions surrounding it.
2. Show Up Authentically Every Day
This means in the way you dress, speak, act. This is not going to happen overnight. It rarely does.
However, if you want an easy place to start, look at the way you dress. Your clothes. What are you saying to the world through the way you show up.
An example of this is when I started dressing the way I wanted to, I saw an enormous shift in my confidence and presentation in the world because I was ready to say, THIS IS ME.
Another way to do this is by cleaning and donating things that are no longer serving you. From clothes, home decor, you name it, these hold space that can be making you feel anxious, trapped, or not so great. Take even 5 minutes going through one section of your closet, house, or car and keep what you love and donate or throw out what no longer lights you up.
3. Give yourself time to...
Dance, rest, exercise, read… Allow yourself to indulge in activities that you may feel like you are too busy for. Schedule it in, even if it is 10 minutes. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy yourself.
So, LET'S CHAT! Are you taking care of both the internal AND external needs? What's your favorite form of self-care? 🌻👇